The joy of a new football season will be any minute now, and last approximately 43 seconds when the new left back will see the ball hit the back of his own net off his back-side.
That is a true story from our time supporting local non league clubs, and we think roughly encapsulates that ‘new season smell’ we all get.
Here’s everything else we think contributes to that, handily illustrated by images and tweets we nicked off social media. Here’s the first set of fixtures as well before you get going..
1. This passive/aggressive thought..
I wish every football fan the very best of luck for 2016/17 season. May you have everything you wish for – except when you play my team!
— TonyIncenzoTalkSPORT (@TonyIncenzo) July 28, 2016
2. Back to enjoy a pint of the good stuff on the sidelines – or lager if that is your thing
3. Finally seeing your side in that smart new strip
Please can be we all observe this rather beautiful Binfield FC Nike Challenge kit? pic.twitter.com/Kxk6CAFnGI
— SPORTSBULK (@sportsbulk) July 27, 2016
Most clubs play pre season games in a tatty kit from three seasons prior – it’s a weirdly nostalgic experience.
4. Catching up with your fellow fans
Catching up will become ‘consoling’ in about 90 minutes for even the most optimistic of fans.
5. We’re afraid to say there might be a few people in the ground for reasons other than football
6. Your home ground looking smart like this..
Pre-season Tues 5th Thurs 7th,7-00pm sharp at Bottom Meadow GU47 9BJ.Manager Luke Turkington Tel: 07751 249666 pic.twitter.com/OtaKxlGJKh
— Sandhurst Town FC (@Sandhursttownfc) July 5, 2016
We all know that sky won’t stay blue
7. Balmy evenings watching midweek football in shorts..
..and getting bitten. Pack the mosquito spray!
8. The magic of the FA Cup
This years cup competition starts even earlier than usual. On Saturday 6th August 2016. Full details of where our teams will be are here.
9. Finally winning the 50/50 draw
A bit like winning the aforementioned trophy. But infinitely more unlikely. Keep dreaming sunshine!
10. And finally, you are never going to have to watch football at Palmer Park again..
The running and cycling track ringed football pitch at Reading’s Palmer Park Stadium is no longer a Hellenic Football League ground as Highmoor-IBIS have moved in to Scours Lane – the former home of the defunct Reading Town.
This list was compiled with the help of Steve Gabb, Neil Graham and Darrell Freeland.
What are you most looking forward to about the new season? Let us know in the comments below.