Things you’ll only know if you are a non-league football regular

Non League Football.
Non League Football.

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If you are a regular to non-league football, whether that is going home and away with one of our local clubs or simply being classed as a ‘ground-hopper’ there are some things you’ll absolutely understand are part and parcel of the semi-professional game.

Whether it’s glamour friendlies against Reading Football Club – in reality a team of triallists and maybe that one first teamer coming back from injury, to overly enthusiastic away fans.

The irony that Duds and I were once just that is not lost on us by the way, as if to prove it here you go!

Bracknell Town fans TC and Duds on an away day to Worthing in the 2000s. Photo: Matt Edwards.
Bracknell Town fans TC and Duds on an away day to Worthing in the 2000s. Photo: Matt Edwards.

Anyway, without further ado here’s those things you know!

Pitchside buildings dwarfing the playing area

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGkghDZiTXw/

I’ll bet Poundland haven’t paid a penny for that ad.

Trying to describe ‘that goal’ to your mates

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEDeq0AIJoN/

You: He took two touches before turning and vollying the ball into the top corner.

Your mate: Yeah right.

The varying standards of seating

From this glorious day..

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGjVtlFL0NG/

To the pre season park friendlies..

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGhnpPeAshP/

A bunch of overly enthusiastic travelling fans

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGhx_I3qXoD/

Steady lads, those railings are held together by red paint and hope.

The ‘glamour’ pre season friendly

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGjIUBgGn06/

Basically any game against a team in a higher division than you.

The chance to play a fallen giant

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGg94pvQRgW/

But in reality this is where you’ll be most weeks..

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGZ3VscA8vM/

Identifying that one player in the squad who could do a..

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGWc99jr0Fe/

We all reckon that tricky winger could make it don’t we!?

Getting your match tickets from here

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGOfL3YN8FZ/

It might be a shed, a veranda or an actual turnstile. Either way it’s the same bloke every week and he knows the club inside out.

Enjoying the local cuisine

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEjfuKlws4-/

No microwaved pies here just proper cakes, and if you get as far as an away trip to the Midlands then expect a glorious portion of faggots and chips.

Some weird stuff

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDzwkIZntbw/

What!?

And how you see your local rivals ground

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGZqbd6s_wi/

Main photo collage contributed to by: Robert Mack and Neil Graham.

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